


Stay. Quiet.

by Castello



Category: Get Smart - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Relationships, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Hand Jobs, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Quiet Sex, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 23:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15375552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castello/pseuds/Castello
Summary: "Stay quiet Maxie, or I swear I'll gag you."Max's face was stoic even as his arms began to shake with the effort of staying still, pinned above his head by one of 23's large palms. 23's face was mere inches from his own, breath ghosting almost directly over his lips. His grip tightened around Max's wrists fractionally, "Got it, Maxie?""It's paintball, 23. I believe I am perfectly capable of staying quiet long enough to-""Quiet, Maxie!"Control issues a new training session where agents must stay hidden for a full three hours. Max gets paired with agent 23, but he can't can't seem to keep silent... So 23 finds another way to shut him up.





	Stay. Quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick, smutty little Crack!fic I banged out in under an hour because I was watching Get Smart and the idea just kinda sprung itself on me. That and there is literally NO other fanfic for this pair, so I had to write some.
> 
> I've got a potential idea for another one in the future (or a continuation of this) but I'm unsure.

Being paired with agent 23 was always the highlight of Max's day. At least, whenever he was blessed with the opportunity. 

Control had issued a new training session that agents would be required to perform once every few months. Similar to their team paintball games, only performing in pairs of two. 

The goal was to remain hidden for a full three hours while the rest of the staff tried to find the paired agents. It was practice for the hidden, and practice for the hunters, each timed with the three hour deadline. The first pair had been found before reaching their second hour, the next pair was caught in a mere twenty minutes. Now it was Max's turn, and he was fortunate enough to have 23, an experienced, first class field agent, as his partner. Not that Max _needed_ him, of course. He could have stayed quiet for _four_ hours all on his own. 

The original paintball field had been extended another five yards in three directions, decked out in hidden rooms and distraction techniques. There were also traps for the hiders, little alarms set to make noise when someone tripped their wires unless quickly deactivated. 

Max had opted for the phony bookcase, 23 slipping in beside him when they heard the team creeping up on them. 

Their plan had been to keep moving, preferably into spaces the hunters had already checked when they could. 

The bookcase clicked shut and Max held his breath, watching agent 23 for cues as the man pressed his ear to the wood. 

When Max opened his mouth to ask if the coast was clear, 23 held a finger up to his lips. Another few minutes passed and Max tried again, and this time 23 caught him with a hand over his mouth. He mouthed quietly, " _Not yet._ " 

Max frowned, irritated that 23 had no faith in him or his equally masterful powers of observation. It had been nearly ten minutes since they'd heard the team snooping around. They should be moving on, carrying out with the idea to go back and hide at the beginning of the course. He lifted his hands to push 23's meaty paw away from his face and say as much, but 23 was faster. 

Quicker than lightning, his second hand swooped down to catch Max's wrist, pressing it to the wall behind them with a warning glare. 

So Max tried again with his other hand. He tugged on 23's toned arm, unhappy to find it almost immoveable no matter how hard he pulled. 

" _Max._ " 23 whispered through his teeth, frustrated. 

Max grumbled and tried again, this time gaining just enough leverage to move 23's fingers about half a centimeter. Personal best. 

23 growled before pressing his lips into a thin line as if to silence himself. He twisted his arm out of Max's childish tugging and caught his other wrist, bringing both above Max's head against the wall so he could slip them into one palm. He held a finger to his lips once more, glaring hard and demandingly at Max before leaning near the back of the bookcase to listen again. 

"They're gone." Max said, and 23 panicked. 

"Stay quiet Maxie, or I swear I'll gag you."

Max's face was stoic even as his arms began to shake with the effort of staying still, pinned above his head by one of 23's large palms. 23's face was mere inches from his own, breath ghosting almost directly over his lips. His grip tightened around Max's wrists fractionally, "Got it, Maxie?"

"It's paintball, 23. I believe I am perfectly capable of staying quiet long enough to-"

" _Quiet_ , Maxie!" he said again, gritting his teeth and forcing his hand back over Max's mouth. 

It was then that 23 seemed to pause, looking at Max like he was only now seeing him for the first time. His eyes flickered between the paw that held Max's arms above his head and the hand over his mouth. Max wondered if he was imagining the small, hungry fire that seemed to light in 23's eyes, or the way his pupils seemed to widen just a little. 

23 winced, and his eyes shut for a second before he glared at Max and quietly muttered, "I'm gonna move my hand, and you're going to be _quiet_." 

The second 23's fingers slipped from his lips and drifted down to the knife wound near his hip Max spoke. He couldn't help himself, really, "Are you okay, 23?" 

He grunted frustratedly, "I said quiet. I'm fine." 

"Your blood pressure is-"

" _Quiet, god damn it!"_ 23 snapped, and pressed his body hard against Max's to make up for the occupied hand resting over his wound. 

The last whisper had been just shy of loud enough for someone to hear. If he couldn't keep Max quiet then they were going to be caught, and only an hour and a half in... 23 would not have that on his record, no matter how much he liked Max. "I will _make_ you stay quiet if you don't stop talking." he threatened, lowering his tone once again. 

"I can't just let you-"

With one hand busy holding Max at bay and the other bloody and resting over his wound, 23 went for a new plan of attack. Something he'd learned during his time working with agent 99 -- that minx. 

Agent 23 only let himself hesitate for a brief moment before he pressed his lips against Max's urgently. Max immediately stiffened, body tight with surprise and probably a little discomfort. Good. At least it would keep him quiet. He'd keep them like this for the whole next hour and a half if he needed to;  _If it meant Maxie would just shut up_. 

23 held the position for a good few minutes, and nothing happened apart from his partner's slowly accelerating breath. He could feel it against his cheek when Max exhaled through his nose, Max's panic. He was about to pull away, promise to keep his lips to himself as long as Max was silent, but Max took him completely by surprise before he got the chance. 

His lips began moving against him. 

They were slow at first, tentative and a little nervous, but they had most definitely moved. 23 lifted his eyes to search Max's face, maybe see if he was trying to put him on to get loose, but found Max's eyes shut and relaxed. That was surprising too. He let Max explore a little, offering nothing back for the first few moments before finally deciding to test the waters himself and give a returning push. 

Max made a startled little noise when 23 nipped at his bottom lip, but was quick to reel it in when 23 sucked a little on his tongue. 

23 quickly found himself getting carried away, brain focused on remembering that split second sound and wondering how many more Max could make if they were anywhere else and he didn't have to work so hard to keep him silent. He found himself drifting away from Max's lips before he fully realized what he was doing, kissing a line down his jaw and onto his neck. 

Max sucked in a breath, "A... agent 23...?" 

"Stay. Quiet." 

He could _feel_ Max gulp beneath his teeth, and fuck if that wasn't a turn on. 

The press of his body against the overly attentive analyst suddenly became more heated. He let his hips roll back and forth once, simply to gauge his reaction, and smiled against Max's neck when the man keened, biting his own lip to shut himself up. 

Because they were the hidden this round, he and Max had left their decked out jackets at the front (because Max insisted the less gear the better really for "optimum stealth"). 23 was especially grateful for it now, letting his slightly bloodied hand slip from his own hip to Max's. There was only a thin cotton shirt between his fingertips and Max's skin now... 

The sudden desire to roam and seek out gripped 23 like a vice, urging him to duck his fingers under the fabric and _feel_. He'd always liked Max. Never really in an overtly sexual way, but those little noises... they were exactly what 23 liked to hear in bed. He liked to listen to the little high pitched and choked-off whimpers that his lovers offered him when he thrust into them. He wanted to know what Maxie would sound like, utterly wrecked... maybe begging. 

Yeah, begging sounded good. 

99 had never begged, but 23 was sure that he could make Max do it. 

He groaned and let his mouth wander back up to seek out his partner's. If he was going to take this any further he couldn't forget where they were. He had to keep one ear open to the outside and Max needed to stay silent. Thankfully there were no cameras here, as the managers feared for cheating, so he didn't have to worry about that. 

When 23 slipped his fingers inside the back of Max's pants, he almost didn't catch the surprised squeak in time. He pulled Max's lower half closer with a hand tightly gripped over his ass cheek--surprisingly soft for someone his age. Not that 23 was complaining. 

He liked it. 

He licked into Max's mouth once, bumping their noses together and humming happily when Max actually started to grind back against him, encouraged by 23's rowdy behavior (and probably limited experience). He wondered then just _how_ inexperienced Max might be. Maybe he'd never done anything like this before at all. 

23 let one finger drift down to the back questioningly, no intent to push inside, just so that he could confirm his suspicions. 

When Max jerked forward, clearly startled, it was all 23 needed to see to know he was definitely virgin. In this sense at the very least. 

Instead of pursuing _that_ any further for the time being, he let his hand slip around to the front, pleased to find good ol' Maxie quickly hardening in his pants. He let his fingers slip around the shaft, pulling just once to see if Max would make another little whine for him, lips already armed and waiting to catch the sound. 

Max did, and his knees buckled beneath him. 

For someone who wanted so badly to be an agent, he needed to learn a little more about self restraint and control. Though, 23 wasn't exactly the best example of perfect self control at the moment. 

"I want you to cum." he whispered beside Max's ear, closer to purring, "but don't make a sound." 

Max winced, "I can't..." 

"You can." 23 ordered softly, almost in a stage whisper, "And then you're going to come see me after you're done with work today. I'm going to put my address on your desk and when you get there..." he nipped at Max's neck, delighted when the man shivered in his hold, fingers flexing into a fist where 23 still held them over his head, "I'm going to see what you sound like when you can be _loud_." 

The heat that coated his fingers after that wasn't much of a surprise, if not entirely expected. 

What 23 _didn't_ expect was Max going absolutely limp against him, head lulling until it rested against his shoulder. He wiped as much of Max's cum on the inside of his pants as he could (it wouldn't do if someone saw it on the outside) but tsked when it wasn't completely gone. 

Thinking on his feet, and rather curious, 23 lifted the dirty digits up to Max's lips, barely pressed against his lips in a silent question. 

And Max took them obediently into his mouth. 

That was definitely promising. 

23 controlled himself well enough to not start rutting against his favorite analyst's leg. He could keep himself in check until the evening came. He drew his hand back and lifted Max's chin before giving him a quick kiss. "After work." he said again, "After we win this match and you get a big gold star on your record for it." 

Max smiled loosely, drunk on his orgasm and a little out of it. "Okay." he replied when 23 finally released his arms and Max let them rest gently over 23's shoulders as they came down.

"Good." 23 responded with a nod, "But I'll still gag you if you're not quiet, Maxie."

23 found himself struck dumb when Max snorted, looking up at 23 from beneath his lashes rather coyly as he said, "Maybe that wouldn't be so bad..."


End file.
